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This week is dedicated to a few of the questions I have received in our

Please continue asking questions! <3, Chanah


Hi Chanah! Can you please talk about the relationship you/your bonus kids have with their (ex) grandparents?


In this area I am BEYOND blessed. My husband had a great relationship with his ex’s parents and that has not changed. These grandparents are beyond grateful that I entered their grandkids’ lives and are very supportive of our growing family. The kids Bubbie (grandma) even asked me if it was ok that my bio kids call her “Bubbie” as well. I created a whatsapp group with all three sets of grandparents, (mine included), and I am constantly sending pictures and updates of my bonus and bio kids. We’re like one, big, awkward family. :) In this area, I feel very blessed.


How do you make time for just the two of you?


In the days of Corona, this has been MUCH more difficult, however - we try to make it a point at least 3/4 times a week to sit down a cup of coffee/tea to check in with each other. We used to try to go on a date once a week but again, with corona, that has been more challenging. So, we try to be pretty strict with our bedtime routine. We make sure the kids are upstairs in their rooms by their bedtimes, we get a little work done, and at 10:30, we’ll sit down to watch a show together, or learn something.


Quality time is my love language so this is something we have really worked on and when I feel it’s not happening, I communicate.


Do you sometimes feel you’re doing too much and that he should do more because they are biologically his?


Yes. But, I have noticed the only times I really feel that way, is when I’m not able to fit myself into my life. What I mean by that is, when those feelings arise, it’s more about me than it is about him. Pesach never takes a break from being a “hands-on” dad. From the start, Pesach and I agreed we would call our kids, “our” kids and not “his” kids. This was important because the only times I would say “your kids” was in times when I was feeling resentful.


Six months ago, I enrolled into the Institute for Integrative Nutrition BECAUSE I was feeling I was ONLY doing things for our kids, and I wasn’t doing anything for myself. Once I enrolled in school, (I have since become a certified Integrative Nutrition Coach), I have found I can be more present when I am doing for our kids, and the feelings that Pesach should be doing more, are few and far between. It’s amazing the shifts that happen when we prioritize ourselves in our lives.



What’s your favorite family style “go-to” meal that everyone enjoys?

This is a tough question because pleasing everyone is so rare…however! I have found burrito night leaves everyone feeling nourished and smiling. It does take a bit of hands on prep - but I’m usually left with leftovers so that’s good!

Our burrito night includes:

  • Ground Beef - simply cooked with sautéed onion, tomato paste, bbq sauce, tomato sauce, garlic, cumin, paprika, Himalayan salt, black pepper

  • White Rice

  • Fried Rice - sautéed onions, mushroom, sprouts, peas, carrots, eggs, soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic

  • Chopped and put into separate bowls- tomatoes, hearts of palm, shredded lettuce, corn

  • Guacamole (when in season) - avocado, tomato, lemon juice, garlic, Himalayan salt

  • Tortillas


Everyone either makes a burrito, (or 2..or 3), or puts it all into a bowl :)


Do you fight with your stepkids?


I don't like the word fight, because I've never been much of a fighter. I have noticed though that kids know how to press different buttons which can sometimes lead to a "blowout*"


I have learned that after a “blowout" I must regain my composure before interacting with anyone else.


How do I regain my composure?

  1. Taking a few breaths.

  2. I take these breaths to remind myself that my emotions do not need to spread to anyone else. For example - if my teenage son and I have it out, I cannot then react to my daughter who asks for help with something.

  3. Sometimes putting on a song and dancing helps

  4. Sometimes letting out a loud “grrrrrrrr” helps

  5. Sometimes, looking at one of my babies helps.

  6. Pray.

  7. Emotional eating is not the way to go. This will be discussed in the future.

*for me, “blowout” means: I lose my cool and start to “argue” the way my kid is arguing. This is when I’ve “lost” the parenting role. I do not yell or scream - but I will raise my voice, sternly. I need to remind myself not to react, but to listen to them and then stand strongly in whatever position I am holding. Conversations can end with “no”. Don’t get sucked into the kids drama!


Keep the questions coming in our online community!



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